Started out with plan A but now you’re on plan N for NICU
Hey mama… this post is for all you moms that started out with plan A but now you’re on plan N for NICU!
Whether you had a preemie or your baby is sick or you have genetic or chromosome things going on with your baby, it doesn’t matter, the feelings are still the same.
Three of my four daughters have been NICU moms. I’ve been a NICU grandma THREE times now! The third is happening right now and it sucks! The link to our story is in my bio, please don’t hesitate to share.
TRIGGER Warning, what you are about to read below is hard, it’s NOT the normal feel-good post, it’s the reality of a NICU mom.
You’ve waited to hold your baby your whole pregnancy and they whisk him away without you even being able to see or hear him. It’s hours later before you finally get to go see your sweet little baby. You can’t touch him, you can’t hold him, all you can do is look at your precious little bundle feeling helpless as you see and hear all machines, the tube and wires connected. The big oscillating ventilator hooked up is one of the scariest things you’ve ever seen and you hear the noise from it even in your sleep.
It’s just not right to leave the hospital without your baby in arms. A part of you is always at the hospital. It’s SO hard to leave every single day. In the mornings you just wish you could stay in bed and snuggle your new baby but you realize you can’t. You must gather your energy to get up, get dressed, kiss your other children goodbye and drive to the hospital every single day. You never stop worrying. You’re constantly in tears no matter if it’s good news or bad news.
Instead of snuggling your baby and dressing him in the adorable newborn clothes you have, you’re doing vitals, you’re swabbing his mouth with a breast milk sponge, and pumping every two hours hoping he’ll be able to get your liquid gold soon.
After what seems like forever, the moment you’ve been waiting for, you finally get to hold him, but it takes 4-5 nurses to carefully maneuver all the wires and tubing to place him in your arms skin to skin. You’re in a place of pure joy and gratitude with tears streaming. Putting him back in his isolette and going home for the night seems impossible. You’re leaving a part of your heart there. You feel guilty and sad and the tears flow all the way home but you pull yourself together before going in the house to greet the rest of your family.
Pumping, pumping, pumping…it seems like you barely get your pumping tools cleaned up and put away and it’s time to do it all over again. It’s hard work, you don’t want to do this anymore, but you know it’s worth it. You want your baby to get your antibodies through your breast milk to support his immune system but it’s really hard especially throughout the night.
You are faced with life and death every day and the emotions around that can be overwhelming. Not everyone understands. People will say things that won’t help the situation, most of them mean well, they just don’t understand.
I want you to know that I get it. Whenever you feel overwhelmed, alone or scared, I’m here. When you hit that wall and think you just can’t do this another day, reach out to me, or to someone else that has gone through it. I love you, I’ll support you, I’ll cry with you and I’ll be your cheerleader. You’ve got this mama!
This oil blend might be helpful during this time to help keep your milk supply up.
Milk Maker Blend
Mix in 10ml roller
- 2 drops Geranium
- 5 drops Clary sage
- 5 drops Copaiba
- 3 drops Basil
- 3 drops of Fennel
- 2 drops Lavender
- 2 drops Roman chamomile
Put in a 10mL roller bottle and fill to top with FCO.
Apply to breasts avoiding the nipples 2-3 times a day. You should only need this blend for 2-4 days to notice an increase then you can stop and use it again when needed like when baby is having another growth spurt. If you use it continuously you may want to make 2 rollers, one with fennel and one without fennel because I recommend only use fennel for 10 days before needing a break.
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